Happiness is the process of becoming your ideal self. 快乐，就是成为理想中的自己的过程。 Completing a marathon makes us happier than eating a chocolate cake. Raising a child makes us happier than beating a video game. 与吃一块巧克力蛋糕相比，跑完一场马拉松让我们更快乐。与打赢电子游戏相比，养育一个孩子让我们更快乐。 Starting a small business with friends and struggling to make money makes us happier than buying a new computer. 与买一台新电脑相比，和朋友创业并努力挣钱让我们更快乐。 And the funny thing is that all three of the activities above are exceedingly unpleasant and require setting high expectations and potentially failing to always meet them. 有趣的是，这三件事，都是非常令人不适的事情，它们需要我们拥有很高的期待，并且我们无法一直都能满足这么高的期待。 Yet, they are some of the most meaningful moments and activities of our lives. They involve pain, struggle, even anger and despair, yet once we've done them, we look back and get misty-eyed about them. 然而，它们却是我们生命中最有意义的瞬间，最有意义的事情。它们让我们经历痛苦，挣扎，甚至愤怒，绝望，但是，一旦做成了这些事，在回首往事时，我们就会感慨得泪眼朦胧。 Why? Because it's these sorts of activities which allow us to become our ideal selves. It's the perpetual pursuit of fulfilling our ideal selves which grants us happiness, regardless of superficial pleasures or pain, regardless of positive or negative emotions. 为什么？因为这样的事情，使我们成为理想中的自己。无论我们遇到的是快乐还是痛苦，是积极情感还是消极情感，如果能做到长期追求实现自我价值，这就能给我们带来快乐。 This is why some people are happy in war and others are sad at weddings. It's why some are excited to work and others hate parties. The traits they're inhabiting don't align with their ideal selves. 所以，很多人身处战争，却感到快乐，很多人置身婚礼，却充满悲伤。所以，很多人一提到工作就兴奋，而有的人却讨厌派对。他们自身的个性，和他们向往成为的自己，这两者并不一致。 The end results don't define our ideal selves. It's not finishing the marathon that makes us happy. It's achieving a difficult long-term goal that does. 事情的结果并不能决定我们理想的自己是什么样的。真正让我们开心的，不是跑完马拉松，而是实现一个长期目标。 It's not having an awesome kid to show off that makes us happy, but knowing that you gave yourself up to the growth of another human being that is special. 让我们开心的，不是拥有一位可以让我们炫耀的优秀的孩子，而是你知道自己把所有的时间精力都投入另一个人的成长中，这是非常特别的。 It's not the prestige and money from the new business that makes you happy. It's the process of overcoming all odds with people you care about. 让你开心的，不是新事业带来的名望和钱财，而是和你在乎的人一起克服困难的过程。 And this is the reason that trying to be happy inevitably will make you unhappy. Because to try to be happy implies that you are not already inhabiting your ideal self. 所以，如果你努力地想追求幸福，反而难免会失败。因为，如果你刻意追求幸福，这意味着你没有活出理想中自己的模样。 You are not aligned with the qualities of who you wish to be. After all, if you were acting out your ideal self, then you wouldn't feel the need to try to be happy. 你梦想拥有一些美好的品质，但你却没能做到。毕竟，如果你只是假装变成了理想中的自己，你就不会觉得自己需要尝试变得快乐。